David Greenspan
A number of quotes attributed to municipal workers
I walk into a bar and laugh
deeply. I walk into a bar and fall
off a horse. I’m not sure how
this horse got in the bar
to begin with but here I am
bleeding and drunk. I shoot
the horse behind its ear
and buy a round for everyone.
I walk into a bar wearing nothing
but a suit of horseskin. Stop me
if you’ve heard this one. A man
walks into a bar and drinks away
his harelip. A woman walks
into a bar and drinks away
her teeth. God created
man from a toothless woman.
God walks into a bar
and drinks away his fear.
He yells about Jacob’s fat hands.
God walks from the bar
with spit beneath his feet.
Really have you heard
this one? I walk into a bar
and drink until my chin grows
a second chin. I walk
into a bar and sit very still
as my fingers grow heavy
with salt.